How to ride the bus
1. Fully recline your seat without warning, allowing the laptop user behind you a pop quiz in contortionism in a last-ditch effort not to have a two-piece computer.
2. Lean fully forward, not at all utilizing the convenience deployed in step 1, pressing your forehead against the seat in front of you (the one that isn’t in the fully reclined position — isn’t that nice?) so that passenger may be fully aware of your presence at every bump.
3 (optional). Turn on your reading light so that everyone in your general area may stay fully awake and alert. This allows a much higher chance for success in any future pop quizzes you may administer.
Editor’s note: This handy guide was brought to you as a demonstration by an anonymous bus rider heading to Boston and transcribed by nearby contortionist and journalist Taylor Dobbs.
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